It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Send help, water and tortillas.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Randomize
