just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
