So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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