wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
