I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
