Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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