Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
