its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize