i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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