Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
