I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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