I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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