To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
high people should be assigned attendants
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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