So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
