Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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