Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
