i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
