what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
