The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
