One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
