Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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