I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
