I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
