I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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