I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
