if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think I am morally bankrupt
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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