So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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