I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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