i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
