Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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