Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
