Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
