Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize