there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize