I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
