I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
