We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's never too late to be topless.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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