before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
