I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
