Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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