State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize