Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
