So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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