You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
