ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
