Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
