piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I will be naked everywhere
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
