Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
