I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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