We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
