what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
