can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Farmville is her only friend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
