I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
