i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
