its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
