their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
