She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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