yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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