He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
