I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
