Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
